India is mad for cricket. Service in restaurants stops while the game is on and then resumes in a flurry of arms, silverware and steaming dishes during the commercials. Years ago, I spent what was probably the most confusing three hours of my life at a cricket match, and watching it on Indian TV was no more illuminating.

It would not be so bad if my companions would simply leave me in my blissful ignorance, but they always feel the need to explain the game to me, which makes the confusion much, much worse.

In much the same way the cricket looks a lot like baseball, but has almost nothing in common with the sport. Cricket is explained in language that sounds like English, but bears little relation to the language. Bowlers and batsmen are fine sensible terms, but googly golden ducks and sticky wickets are simply not English.

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