先日、私は渋谷を散歩していたら、公園にホームレスが集まっているのに気がつきました。どこの国にでもホームレスがいますが、日本のユニークなところは、公園のホームレスが日経新聞を読んでいる一方で、電車で通勤のサラリーマンが漫画を読んでいるというとこるです。

日本の社会は不可解です。

亜未はティキが嫌いだから、ティキが一匹しかいない。

一匹ティキは寂しいティキだ。

寂しいティキは悲しいティキだ。

猫について、日本語の慣用句は思った以上に多いです。慣用句を読むと、日本人は猫が一匹狼的な振る舞いをするところや、賢いところや、女性的なイメージを受けているように思えます。たしかに、そう言う動物かもしれませんが、たまに分かりにくい文章になります。例えば、「亜未が犬を猫かわいがる」と言うのは文章としておかしいと思います。

と言う表現は良く言われますが、間違いのように思います。

特に私が独身時代は、冷蔵庫の残り物には、福があるようなことはありませんでした。むしろ危険でした。毛むくじゃらなアボガトや茶色くなったトマトなどは幸運を運ぶものとは言えないと思います。

ただし、枝豆は放っておけば、結局納豆になっていくので、この慣用句は和食に当てはまるのかもしれません。

日本人の友達は私の日本語より英語がわかりやすいと思いますけど、今日からはブログを日本語で書くようにします。

私は２０年以上、日本に住んでいます。来年、日本にいる期間が海外にいる期間よりも長くなります。その２０年間で、日本人の友達や会社の上司や部下もいました。また、一昨年からは結婚して、日本人の妻もいます。日本語で披露宴のスピーチをしたり、ラジオでインタビューも受けました。

日本で気楽に生活をしていましたが、日本語が上達していません。実際に２０年間も日本に住んでいるのに、いまだに中学校レベルの日本語しか話せないのは恥ずかしいです。

毎日、日本語能力試験２級に向けて勉強しているので、日本語でブログを始めます。
日本人の友達が、日本語の間違いを指摘してくれたら、徐々に日本語が上達して、２級合格もあり得るかもしません。

よろしく御願いします。

Playing Twister with Japanese girls is hopeless if you are actually trying to win. The flexibility gap is insurmountable.

India is mad for cricket. Service in restaurants stops while the game is on and then resumes in a flurry of arms, silverware and steaming dishes during the commercials. Years ago, I spent what was probably the most confusing three hours of my life at a cricket match, and watching it on Indian TV was no more illuminating.

It would not be so bad if my companions would simply leave me in my blissful ignorance, but they always feel the need to explain the game to me, which makes the confusion much, much worse.

In much the same way the cricket looks a lot like baseball, but has almost nothing in common with the sport. Cricket is explained in language that sounds like English, but bears little relation to the language. Bowlers and batsmen are fine sensible terms, but googly golden ducks and sticky wickets are simply not English.

Before I moved to Japan, I assumed that two-year-olds were unaware of things like race. I soon discovered that they are. I occasionally pass by a Japanese mother trying to soothe her screaming, crying child to have the toddler suddenly fall silent and stare at me with open mouth and pealed eyes.

On the flight to India there was woman sitting across the aisle holding a baby who had been screaming incessantly for ten minutes. When she shifted her daughter to her other shoulder, the little girl looked at me agape, smiled and pointed, and thankfully she stopped crying and everyone around could relax. I told the mother how cute her little girl was, leaned my seat back and closed my eyes for sleep.

Then, for the next hour the woman and her husband tried to turn the girl so she was facing the other way. Each time they did, she would begin to scream and squirm until she was resting with her head in a position where she could see across the aisle. Husband and wife then changed seats so the wife and daughter were by the window where the girl eventually cried herself out after another 30 minutes or so.

Strangest thing.

In addition to lengthy online surveys, bayesian algorithms, mutual compatibility profiles, there is now genetic matching to help boy meet girl. Gene Partner claims that true love (or at least a piece of the online dating market) can be found in DNA sequences.

I’m planning a trip to Cambodia and India next month, and I expected that being able to use the internet to, for example, choose a hotel in Delhi would be simpler that the old way in which you either booked a famous high-end place or just showed up and took your chances.

It’s not.

I don’t really need or want to look at the 200 hotels that are available and read dozens of reviews (many of them obviously planted) for each place.

In his recent book, Jason Zweig explained that after a certain point investors with access to more information tend to underperform investors with less info to work with. I am beginning to understand why.

The Japanese have the right idea about Valentines day. Much better to have the girls buy chocolates for the guys.

It’s wonderful to watch a nation try to create an ideal government. Bhutan is in the process of creating one in which the government is held accountable based on the happiness of its people.

To make this work the Bhutanese came up with a way to mathematically quantify happiness both on the individual and national level, and to have an objective measure of to what degree specific government policies increase or decrease the happiness of the people.

Part of this involves a 300 question questionnaire, which most people were quite happy to fill out. Questions about the degree to which people feel safe from spirit and ghost attacks struck me as silly at first, but the fact is that people do feel less happy when they are worried about being attacked by a ghost.

Amazing and inspiring stuff.

The following email was sent from one of our financial clients. They truly know how to get in the holiday spirit. I’m sure the sender meant well and never got to see the irony.

Subject: Season’s Greeting

May the miracle of Christmas fills your heart with warmth and love.
Merry Christmas!

Sincerely,
xxx

–
This message may contain confidential, proprietary, or legally privileged information. No confidentiality or privilege is waived by any transmission to an unintended recipient. If you are not an intended recipient, please notify the sender and delete this message immediately. Any views expressed in this message are those of the sender, not those of xxxx.

This message does not create any obligation, contractual or otherwise, on the part of xxxx. It is not an offer (or solicitation of an offer) of, or a recommendation to buy or sell, any financial product. Any prices or other values included in this message are indicative only, and do not necessarily represent current market prices, prices at which xxxx would enter into a transaction, or prices at which similar transactions may be carried on xxxx own books. The information contained in this message is provided “as is”, without representations or warranties, express or implied, of any kind. Past performance is not indicative of future returns.

CyberMarriage!

Last week a Japanese man married a Nintendo DS video game character from a game called Love Plus. The ceremony was well attended, officiated by a priest and the couple spent their honeymoon in Guam.

Hummm. I’m pretty sure that she was under the age of consent.

Our minds as well as our bodies have an immune system.

Our mental immune system is activated any time an alien and potentially harmful concept is introduced. In the same way white blood cells surround and isolate a virus, our minds quickly surround the new concept with excuses and semi-logical reasons why the new concept cannot be valid until the concept is comply isolated and cannot connect to any of our healthy, strong beliefs. It ensures that no thoughts can pass though this barrier an interact with the new concept. In this way the new concept is rendered inert and harmless and eventually passes out of our minds as waste.

One of the things I find most amusing about hippies is that they tend to be hopelessly unaware of the degree to which their anti-establishment views are instilled and fostered by corporate America, and how much these companies profit from them.

However, the tea-baggers have taken this delusion to a whole new level. It seems that Glenn Beck has A Plan which he will be explaining in a new book which will go on sale next year. In order to publicize the book, he will be staging a march on Washington, and I’m sure a lot of his fans will “do their civic duty” by showing up.

Putting Red/Blue politics aside for a moment, this is an astounding example of the near perfect annexation of political dissent. It almost seems like satire. Going to a protest has become no more significant than going to a Miley Cyrus concert.

When you look back in history at the various causes that have resulted in large protests, you can’t help but be struck by the sacrifices, the sufferings and the vision of the people behind them. I think this has been true whether the issue found its support on the right or the left.

So it seems that political dissent has been reduced to a PR event. It’s like equating Miley and Mozart because we call them both “musicians”.

Oh yes, and if this little stunt was not offensive enough in the abstract, Beck has scheduled his book release march for August 28, 2010 at the foot of the Lincoln Memorial — the 47th anniversary of Martin Luther King’s “I Have a Dream” speech.

I was cruelly denied my lunchtime workout today. Gold’s Gym closed for the day because the elevator was out of order. The fact that it was closed did not piss me off half as much as the fact that none of the dejected looking gym members milling about saw the utter stupidity in this.

It’s a gym for christsake! The customers are (or at least should be) perfectly willing to walk up a few flights of stairs. If that’s too much for you, fine! Walk up as far as you can and then go back down. Congratulations, you just finished your workout.

When I go back tomorrow, I’m sure they will be apologizing and handing out little sugary snacks for every one to chew on as they wait in line to use one of the StairMasters.

My friend Jim sent me an interesting article on “What Startups are Really Like”

It’s a worthwhile read, but I had to chuckle at the author commiserates with one of the entrepreneurs he was interviewing about how hard it is to get a date.

Unfortunately this extends even to dating:
It surprised me that being a startup founder does not get you more admiration from women.

I did know about that, but I’d forgotten.

Rubbish! The whole “I quit my job because that’s no way to spend a life, and now my friends and I are going to change the world.” thing goes over phenomenally well with women.

Ebisu Baccarat Chandelier

Last week Ebisu Garden Place (our local shopping mall) put up their version of the Christmas tree; the “Baccarat 250 Chandelier” which is made from 250 different crystal lights. It’s impressive, I suppose, but it never struck me as very “Christmasy”. It seems kind of sterile behind all that plate glass.

The Japanese, however, adore the thing and come out in droves each year to ohh, ahh and take photographs. This year Ebisu was plastered with big red signs imploring passers by to “Feel the Experience” or the “Eternal Lights” visible only until January 11th.

If you can’t make it out, here’s an awesome interactive view, check out this site. You might even see me on my way home.

Is a lot harder than it seems. Last December I decided to bring my 104 cm waistline down to 90. The first 8 cm came of pretty quick, but the last four a proving to be annoyingly stubborn.

OK. I’m getting up from the computer and going out for a run.