WIth all the friending, tweeting, and facebookin’ there is so little time for logging. Such a shame. I’m back on the blog today — with some help from Sajjad — because today is my mother-in-law’s birthday.

Now, for those of you with an attention span longer than a tweet, I’ll explain. I’ve decided that the perfect gift for the woman who has everything (and those of you who have met my mom-in-law know what I’m talking about) is her very own blog.

All well and good provided I don’t get suck doing tech support.

I was watching the coverage of the Democratic convention yesterday and it was like watching a sports broadcast — with really inane commentators.

There was a ten minute segment where the commentators discussed what was “really going through Hillary’s Clinton’s mind.” Not what she was saying now, or what she had said in the past, or how she had acted in the past or anything that was remotely grounded in reality. In fact there was not a word about anything she had said or done. Just four people using their psychic mind-reading skills with extraordinary confidence to tell the network audience what she really thinks.

They then turned their discussion and their mind-reading skills on Obama.

Really, who the hell cares what these pundits might fantasize about what goes on inside other people’s heads?

P.S. I’m thinking of a number between one and ten …

A number of people and articles have recommended multi-day fasts for health reasons. As strange as it sounds, I don’t think I have ever even gone a single day without food, so I decided to try a 32-hour “mini-fast” just to check things out.

I was really surprised that I did not fell particularly hungry at all. No strong desire to eat or anything. I did feel a bit light-headed, but not in a bad way. Think I’ll try a few more of these mini-fasts before committing to a three-day affair.

P.S. I’m not even bothering to give any excuses for not blogging for so long. Please feel free to make up your own. They will undoubtably be much more interesting than the truth.

Had my Japanese wedding reception last Saturday. I’m glad it’s over, but was delighted that so many of our friends turned out for the event. It’s been three days, but my face still hurts from smiling so much for the cameras.

New we get to do it again next month in Virginia.

For those readers who don’t diligently read every comment posted to this blog (You know who you are!) I thought I would bring this little item to your attention.

Last year I posted with amusement about the tempest in a teacup that was the Pink Taco Controversy.

James W. Sperman, the creator of the Pink Taco Restaurant & Bar posted a link to a website he created that tells the whole Pink Taco story. It’s worth a read, and as a serial entrepreneur myself, I really feel for the guy.

It seems spam is getting a bit aggressive recently. My friend found charming bit of spam in his inbox.

Why? You stupid fat fuck. Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? What a joke. Your lucky I am even writing this because I can’t stand you most of the time. Why do you not get serious about looking better? With all the bullshit out there right now and dam results I’ve seen in the people I know, your an idiot not trying something. My fuckin sister lost 52 lbs not even exercising using this crap http://xxxxxxx.com

It’s about time you stopped being a lazy piece of shit and do something about yourself.

-You know who I am probably

I’ve never been able to decide (and we’ll probably never know) if the neo-cons running America are consciously and cynically using the threat of terrorism to roll back hundreds of years of human and civil rights (and seriously, why would they want to do that? They don’t gain anything from that.) or if this pants-shitting cowardice is real, and they honestly believe that people living in caves on the other side of the world really are the “greatest threat this nation has even faced.”

Even in the current state of perpetual panic, however, every once something still makes me say “Shit! These morons are serious!”

It seems that the Department of Homeland Security and the TSA are quite excited about Lamperd’s “EMD Safety Bracelet.” There is a video on the site that really has to be seen to be believed, but I’ll explain briefly.

Under the plan, when we board a flight we would all be issued “safety bracelets” which could only be removed by security personal at the destination. If the airline crew decides we are misbehaving in flight, they will be able to remotely activate our bracelets to deliver a “debilitating electric shock that would render [us] unconscious for several minutes.”

What’s most disturbing is that these people were not laughed at or spat on, but are being actively encouraged by the US government.

Mt friend Stuart pointed me towards this article on how the British Government is now recognizing McDonald’s shift manager training as formal educational credits.

The article is full of quotes as to how this will provide greater eductionial oportunitys by allowing more people to get degrees and increase intentional competitiveness and result in a more skilled workforce, presumably because more people earn degrees.

It’s all nonsense, of course, giving more workers progressively more meaningless pieces of paper does not make the workforce more skilled any more than (as the US is finding out) printing more money makes the population any richer.

Just finished cleaning up after another home party. (It was a blast. We really have to have more of those.) Other than a mysterious green stain on the rug, everything looks just like it did last night. Quite a difference from the parites I used to throw in the US. The last one I threw there I woke up the next morning to find an enire pizza stuck to the ceiling. At least it made my breakfast choices easier.

I’m back in Cluj. (It’s pronounced like “kludge”) Yes, it’s an ironic place to locate a software company. They know, They’ve heard all the jokes. I think this place is probably beautiful in the spring and summer when the trees are full of leaves and the winter grime has vanished from the streets. At the moment, however, I am faced with dead trees and filthy cars.

Actually, much the same is true of the Romanian women. From the glimpses I catch, there seem to be a lot of cute girls in this town, but during the winter they are buried under four layers of clothes and fur, so I can’t really be sure.

I have to come back when it’s warm.

Last night I discovered that I like Turkish food. I never knew I did. (And no, I’m not talking abut the cloyingly sweet desert for which this post in named! Can’t stand that stuff.)

In fact I always considered Turkish food to be either too heavy and greasy or too spicy and greasy like like those damn street kabobs. Turns out I only dislike bad Turkish food. I just hope I can find good Turkish food somewhere other than Istanbul.

Now, it’s back to cold, cold Romania.

I thought I was going to be in Romania on business today, but the Transylvanian winters are cold, so my two colleagues and I caught a plane to Turkey for the weekend.

It’s early morning and I’m stilling in a hotel lobby in Istanbul waiting for my two friends to go sight-seeing. Ilker’s a Turk, so the two of us are relying on him not to get us too hopelessly lost.

If you don’t hear from me for a few days, send reinforcements.

… and while we’re on the subject of health. It’s kind of Amazing that Americans will ignore all kinds of real health dangers, but invent all kinds of diseases that are not real.

A friend sent me an article about the new Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders which is the psychiatrists bible. If can’t sleep after you drink too much coffee, you are not an idiot, you have
292.89: Caffeine-Induced Sleep Disorder F15.8, and of course there is a mind-altering drug available.

It also turns out that your kid is not a disobedient, ill-mannered brat, but has a combination of 313.81: Oppositional Defiant Disorder F91.3 and 312.8: Conduct Disorder F91. The recommended treatment, of course, is not grounding or a good spanking, but drugs to alter the child’s brain chemistry.

It’s as if life itself has become some kind of medical condition.

In 20 years the Japanese will be just as fat as today’s super-sized Americans — although by that time the Americans will be even fatter.

A few years ago I blogged about my shock over the popularity of the McGriddle in America (seriously people, its not food) but it has turned into a best seller here in Japan as well. They have also introduced the MegaMac here in Japan. It’s basically a Big Mac with a two extra patties, and they literally can’t keep it in stock.

Two years ago Krispy Kreme opened its first outlet here and the lines are still hundreds of people long. An unending flow of petite 45kg Japanese girls wait for an hour in the cold to get to the front of the line and and then scurry off with their box of dozen glazed donuts: each one ready to cite without a hint of irony the conventional wisdom about how healthy the Japanese diet is.

Most nauseating and vile of all, however, has to be Pizza Hut’s new special crust. (I think this is a Japan only thing, but I could be wrong.) The outside rim othe the pizza crust is actually made from detachable, rolls or cheese that have been battered and deep-fried, and it comes with maples syrup that you are supposed to pour over the crust before eating.

The Japanese are currently the longest-lived people on Earth. I wonder if the next generation will be able to claim the same title.

Or I suppose “Barbarian Back Up” is more appropriate.

So much has changed (and all for the better) since my last posting, I don’t know where I would start or when I would stop. I’ll just let the info trickle out over the coming posts. (Yes, they are coming. I’ve been quite delinquent in my posting for the past few months, but that will change.)

For me the New Years Holidays are a time I sit down and write down my goals for the coming year, and look back at last years goals to see how I did. It’s amazing how things always work out.

They never work out like I expect them to, but they always work out.

I hope we all are going to have fantastic 2008!

Last week China’s Administration for Religious Affairs announced that starting next month it will be illegal for Tibetian monks to reincarnate without the government approval.

Of course, once all the amusement wears off, you can see this for what it is. China’s latest attempt to exterminate Tibetan Buddhism once and for all. The whole leadership structure of the religion is based on monks reincarnating. The Chinese government how has the legal pretext to dictate the next generation of leaders and arrest those chosen by traditional means. With the Dali Lama getting on in years, the legislation is rather timely.

Call off the search parties. I made it back alive. Found some nice clubs, met some cool people, got home at 4AM and am now in desperate need of some strong black coffee.

There are plenty of hot Bulgarian girls wandering about Sofia on a Saturday night, but they really need to smile more. A note to women of all nationalities. You are all much more beautiful when you smile. You don’t even need a reason. It’s OK to just be happy.
I’ve got to run. Housekeeping wants to make up the room, and I am off in search of caffeine.

Yeah, yeah. I have not posted in months. But I have a good excuse. The dog ate my keyboard! The token fell out of my network cable and I could not log in.

The truth is I’ve just been too busy traveling and working to take the time to update this blog like the disciplined barbarian I strive to be.

I’m in Sofia right now and its Friday evening. I know there is something going on in this city I just have to find it. OK. I’m off in search of a cool club full of hot Bulgarian girls. I’ll let you know how it goes. If you don’t hear back from me in three days, send reinforcements!

The Japanese have this thing for heated toilet seats with built-in bidets. That’s all fine, but Toto has announced a partial recall of one of its more popular models because of a nasty tendency to burst into flame.

That’s gotta hurt.

It was only a matter of time, I suppose. The pharmaceutical companies now make anti-depressants for dogs in oder to combat “Pet Separation Anxiety.”

I’m far too young to be a crusty old man complaining about the “way things are these days,” but it seems to me that messing with the brain chemistry of our pets, our kids and ourselves in all but the most extreme cases is simply asinine. We barely understand how the brain works, but we are quick to use mind-altering medications as soon as feel something is not quite right. And this in the nation with the harshest drug laws outside the Muslim world.

Oh yes, according to the article the “symptoms” of this new syndrome are

1. Destructive chewing
2. Excessive barking or whining
3. Pacing
4. Drooling
5. Yawning
6. Inappropriate urination or defecation

In other words, “Being a puppy.”

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to roll over and play dead.